Thursday, September 1, 2011


7893 South 9302 East
Salt Lake City, UT 73620

8/31/11

Joe Shmo
1100 South 7322East
Salt Lake City, UT 83201

Dear Joe:

I would first like to say that I really enjoyed being a Student Ambassador this year. Many of the wrinkles we had in the organization and production of First Year Student Orientation last year were ironed out and that is great. The extra freedom the SA’s had to interact with the new students was valuable and fun. However, there is one thing I would like to bring your attention to: the amount of bottled water given out on campus.

I understand the importance of providing water to students and their families during orientation and some of the issues this task can create, but I think there are better solutions to keeping people hydrated that will also help Westminster move forward in their pledge to work toward carbon neutrality.

According to Westminster’s website, in 2007 Westminster College pledged to work toward carbon neutrality in its operations. The excess of bottled water around campus during seemed like a step backward in that regard. According to Food and Water Watch bottled water produces up to 1.5 million tons of plastic waste each year and that plastic requires about 47 million gallons of oil per year to produce.

I know that we have recycling bins around campus that the water bottles could be recycled in, but the Food and Water Watch also states that over 80 percent of plastic bottles are thrown away. Hopefully that percentage is lower here at Westminster, but we could avoid this situation almost entirely – at least during orientation. As you know, all of the new students are given “welcome bags” that include a reusable plastic and metal water bottle. If water filling stations were placed around campus, students could refill their water bottles when necessary, and we wouldn’t have to have bottled water available for them.

The real issue is how to keep the families of the new students hydrated and comfortable. There are many possible solutions to this that could either greatly reduce or completely eliminate the need for bottled water. One idea is that Westminster could have reusable water bottles (like the students get) available for a reasonable price on campus for the families of students. This way parents could by a memento that would also reduce the amount of bottled water needed. Another idea is to include a BYOB (Bring your own bottle) message in the orientation information packets for the families of students that explained that Westminster is environmentally aware and that there will be water stations around campus. These two ideas could be used in conjunction with each other as well.
I think the new students and their family members would be receptive to this idea for a few reasons. One being that reusable water bottle use has been heavily advertised lately as an easy way to “go green”. Another being that it seems like the people who are attracted to Westminster are also environmentally aware and would actually like to hear that this was our policy.

I hope that this issue can be addressed and discussed. I would love to find a way to completely eliminate the presence of bottled water distributed by Westminster at FYSO, but even reducing the amount we provide would be a great accomplishment.

Thanks for your time,



Sammi

1 comment:

  1. Hi Sammi,

    I really like the problem that you chose and you have some very good suggestions for fixing it. You also have a very readable and respectful style that works well.

    See my comments below for specifics, but in general, see if you can reduce your letter by 1/3. Try to keep the same tone and style and message but do it in as few words as possible. Make sure each word helps you create a connection with your reader and make your point in a respectful way.

    Please let me know if you have any questions.

    Jeff

    ----

    I really like your opening. You establish a good connection with the reader and then build naturally to the problem. Well done.

    I would cut the paragraph that talks about the carbon neutrality pledge. The reader likely already knows this information and you refer to it earlier, so stating it here is unnecessary and may be irritating to the reader.

    Watch out for formatting issues. One paragraph doesn't have an extra space after it like the others. YOu want to be consistent.

    You have some wording issues and typos in a few places. Try reading the letter out loud. It will help you find those things.

    ReplyDelete